Minimalist Christmas With Kids

Now that I have a child, I really just want less in my life.

Less stuff, complexity, and trash.  Fewer complications.  

Just less.

But then we come to the holiday season and there is so much more.  More stuff, more complexity, more trash.  More everything.  And it is stressful.

As I’ve gotten older, and gotten more to do, I think receiving gifts may be at times more stressful than giving gifts.  Especially as a parent of young children.

So as we move into the gift-giving season, here is a guide on how to give gifts to adults that are used and appreciated.

Give consumables

Children use a lot of consumables.  A LOT of consumables.

Art supplies are a bottmeless category on their own.  But kids turn even non-consumables into consumables.  Clothing and shoes fall into this category too.  And then there are things like bubble solution and bubble bath.

You could create an amazing Christmas from just this category alone.  I don’t recommend it, but you could.  

Paint and crayons make great stocking stuffers.  Notebooks and sketchbooks are fantastic gifts.  Clothes in the next size up are wonderful too.  Or maybe you need more pipe cleaners and googly eyes.

Think about what your kids use up and start there.  

Create Memories

Think about doing something special together as a family instead of giving a physical gift.  Go to the zoo or the park.  Take a trip to Disney.  Go to the movies. 

Do something special together.  Don’t just give physical gifts.

Think about the future

My daughter is 2.  Next year she turns 3.  This is a hugely important developmental time for her that requires play as the main form of learning.  There are things she needs to help her meet those developmental milestones.

Every Christmas and birthday, I look ahead.  What will she need to support her upcoming development? And then I get those things.

Last year for Christmas she got a pushbike.  She could barely walk and had no idea what to do with this thing.  Now she uses it every day.  She may not use all her gifts on Christmas day, or even the next week, but she will use them over the course of the year, and she greatly enjoys them when she is ready for them.  

This year she is getting a lot of puzzles.

Don’t be taken in by Consumerism

I can’t watch anything anymore without being bombarded with commercials for collectable toys. There are Bratz dolls and Barbies and pickle cats?  I don’t even know.  But the commercials show that you can “Collect all 150!”

Don’t.  Just don’t.  

There is no reason your kids need to be sucked into that particular black hole.  They don’t need every “it” thing.  Just because their friend has 15 of the things, doesn’t mean they need it too.

Create traditions that don’t involve “stuff”

When I was a kid, we got presents in our shoes for St. Nicks day, on Christmas eve, and then on Christmas day.  We probably averaged 15-30 toys a year each holiday season and none of them ever left. 

We were swimming in stuff.  I could never find what I wanted to play with and was frequently bored.  I remember playing with boxes and milk jugs more than any other toy I got.  So, I’ve rethought the family traditions.

Instead of everyone getting their own gift to pass the time, I’ve rejiggered most of those traditions to become family time. 

Think about your family traditions and see if there is a way to change them to no longer involve a deluge of gifts.

Talk with Family and Create Expectations

I have wonderful parents and inlaws who love to spoil their grandchild.  It is well-intentioned if unfocused and a little… much.  I love them, and love they feel secure enough in our relationship to shower their grandkids with gifts. 

There are three things I do to help manage and focus their gift-giving:

1. I give them a clear idea of gifts their granddaughter would get immediate use of (ie- right now she is into rocks),
2. Reduce the number of toy-type gifts to compensate for the amount they give her,
3. Try and limit the gifts to 2 each (this doesn’t always work)

I know there are some people who really try to curtail what the grandparents give.  They will try things like making a registry or ask them to get specific things.  That takes all the fun out of gift-giving for the grandparents.  

Let them spoil the grandkids.  They have earned it.  Do what you need to do on your end to compensate.  You know your parents and inlaws.  You know what you need to do to compensate.  Just do it.  

Give Things They Will Use Everyday 

Yes, you can give toys and clothes, but have you considered giving a “big kid bed” or a dresser?  

If it is time for a developmental leap, consider giving the equipment the child will need to progress.  For us, it is time for her to start managing her own clothing.  That means she is getting a dresser of her very own and access to her closet.  It isn’t super fun, but that can easily be a Christmas present.

You could also give other big-ticket items like swings, a playground set, or a playhouse.  Just because something doesn’t fit under the tree doesn’t mean you can’t give it as a gift.

Don’t Sweat What You Can’t Control

There are some things you simply can’t control.  

If grandma shows up with 10 presents per kid, don’t worry about it.

There’s a school party and the kids come home with 15 small toys?  Not a problem.

Don’t spend any emotional energy on anything out of your control.  You can always put the toys into a toy rotation, or ration out candy and cookies they receive.  It is going to be fine.

Bringing it all Together

Don’t just give your kids toys, get them things they will need over the course of the coming year.  Just make sure you get a few toys they can play with immediately to keep the day special.  

What are you getting your kiddos for the holidays?  Let me know in the comments below.  And don’t forget to like and share!