Create New Years Resolutions that Stick

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Everyone I know makes New Years resolutions, and everyone’s resolutions seem to die somewhere around early February. People get frustrated with their resolutions, or bored, or they just forget. Change is hard, and pushing through to maintain a change can be very difficult.

These people who abandon their New Years resolutions don’t lack conviction. They aren’t lazy. Resolutions that are kept are structured differently than resolutions that are abandoned. The key is to make the right resolution, and then set yourself up for success.

What should a resolution look like?

It should be actionable.

To start we need the resolution to be actionable with clear, concise, and achievable goals. Instead of “I want to get healthy in the new year.” The resolution should sound more like “I want to lose 50 lbs this year.”

See the difference? One is actionable (lose 50 lbs) the other is not (what does “get healthy” even mean?). A year is a long time, and losing 50 lbs over the course of the year is also doable and not too daunting (about 4.2 lbs of weight loss a month average). In the course of losing 50 lbs, the other presumed parts of the “get healthy” goal would likely be achieved. Losing weight often involves adding a workout routine and eating healthier.

It should have a reason.

While an actionable resolution is a good start, true change requires more. You need to understand why you want to make this change. A lot of resolutions are made because people feel this is what they should be doing because that is what society says they should. That is not nearly enough of a reason to make a change.

Continuing with the weight loss example: you will never lose weight just because your doctor tells you it is a good idea. You need a real reason to lose weight, one that will motivate you when it gets hard. The reason can be anything that makes sense to you. It could be because you want to fit into your wedding dress, or because you want to get rid of your type 2 diabetes, or even because you still want to be able to carry your toddler as they grow.

Whatever your reason, it needs to be: personal, urgent (waiting will do more harm than good), and driving. Your reason should turn your resolution from an “I want to” statement to an “I will” statement. The reason should be strong enough to drive you to start making the change right now. Anything less and the resolution will likely be abandoned.

Take care not to make the resolution too strict.

If the resolution is something you have to do every day, every week, or at a specific time, it is doomed to fail.

Change is, again, hard. You will stumble. And that doesn’t even include days when you are sick or need some kind of a break. There is nothing that anyone truly does every day. Even life saving medications are occasionally forgotten when we step out of our routines.

Take care to structure your resolution as the cumulative effect over the course of the year. For example, don’t make a resolution to read every day, make the resolution to read x books a year. Don’t make the resolution to run every day, make the resolution to run a 5k (or a marathon).

Everything can be restructured from something you have to do everyday to the cumulative effects doing something nearly every day for a year would have. You will be far more likely to keep to a resolution that forgives a stumble.

Create a resolution that adapts.

Life happens. But that doesn’t mean the spirit of your resolution can’t stay strong.

Say your resolution was to lose weight… then suddenly you find yourself pregnant. Losing weight may no longer be on the table, but you could still lose fat (working with your doctor of course). Or you could resolve to continue your workouts in a modified way while eating healthy.

Or the opposite can happen. You could achieve your prescribed goal in July and then wonder what you are going to do the rest of the year. Extend the goal. If your goal was to run a 5k and you managed in July, resolve to run a 5k a month or start building up to a marathon.

Creating a resolution is about creating a perminant change in your life. So when you accomplish one goal, create another in the same Vein as the first. And if life gets in the way, do your best to continue making progress while forgiving yourself for any lackluster results.

Now that you have a good, actionable resolution, create accountability.

I am certain no resolution is ever stuck to without an accountability system. Everyone views accountability differently, but everyone needs a system that works for them and their budget.

Many people try to make that accountability structure by signing up for a gym membership they then fail to use. Just paying for a service is not enough of an accountability structure. Consider instead of paying for a gym membership, pay for a specific class. The class gives structure and creates a commitment.

There are classes and meetup groups for everything. You just have to look.

If you are very self disciplined, your accountability structure could come in the form of an app. Something that makes you check in every day and track how you are doing. There are free apps out there for everything.

Keep the number of resolutions down.

Rome wasn’t built in a day and no change you make is going to happen overnight. You will not be able to stop every bad habit and start every new good habit you want in a single year. There is just not enough time in a day. So keep the number you are working on down.

My recommendation is to limit the number of resolutions in a single year to three. You cannot bring total change to every aspect of your life simultaneously, so focus on the things that are most urgent right now.

Finally, don’t wait to start.

So many plans fail in January because people started without creating accountability and without being kind to themselves about their goals. They see anything less than perfection as a problem and give up.

Starting now, in December gives a grace period to help build the new habits (and fail a few times) before January begins. This way you hit the ground running in January and don’t spend your January trying to make a plan while getting demotivated.

Honestly, you can start a “New Years” resolution at any time. And you should start them when your drive and motivation is highest.

Examples of strong New Years resolutions:

These are my resolutions for the next year along with my motivations:

Goal 1: Lose 100 pounds over the course of the year.

Why? So that I can live a long, healthy life with my family and so I am healthy enough to consider having another baby. It has to be done this year if I am going to try to get pregnant again. My window will close otherwise due to other health complications.

How? I will start building a workout habit by using an app called 8fit. I will track my food intake and weigh myself every Friday to check progress. I will slowly pair down from the 6 meals I was eating a day while breastfeeding and get back to the three meals and no snacks I used to eat. I will not be discouraged by slow downs, I will look for solutions. I started with this resolution last week and have already lost 10 pounds.

Goal 2: I will create a consistent budget for our family with the goal of saving $1000 a month by next January.

This gives me 12 months to tease budgets and decide what is really important before I have to be consistently creating a $1000 surplus in our budget.

Why? Because we are trying to start our own business so cutting household expenses allows us more time and money to devote to the business. An extra $1000 per month would allow us to weather any bumps easier.

How? My husband and I downloaded Mint. We will be using it to track every dime for the next 3 months. While we do that, I will try to meal plan so our food budget is $800 or less per month. Meal planning also supports my goal to lose weight. Once we know where the money is going, we can evaluate what we have and what we can cut. At the same time, we will be trying to add to our income through side hustles and work raises.

Goal 3: Launch our business.

Why? My husband and I are in a fairly new industry, and we are not enamored with what is going on in it. We see this business as a way to give back to our industry and create the first profitable company in our field without a billionaire benefactor.

How? I’m not going to go into detailed plans here, but you better believe I have them with time line goals.

What are your new years resolutions and how will you see them through?

Jane Reid, the primary author of Unprepared Mom and STEM 911, is an educator, tutor, women’s rights advocate, and mom. Here to make your life easier one article at a time.

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