When you were pregnant, you swore that nothing would change. Your family could still do everything you did before baby was born, and the romance between you would be unshakeable.
Then baby was born.
Everything is more difficult than before. You get less sleep and fuses are shorter as a result. Beyond romance even sex becomes an afterthought. It is difficult to find time for anything beyond the basics of home care and baby care.
At some point you realize the home has become all business. You and your partner feel more like roommates than lovers.
Don’t let it get to that point. Here are five easy ways to keep the romance alive even after baby is born.
Tip #1: Have Date Night
Before the baby was born, you could go out on a wim. Now you have to hire a sitter, arange the date, and then find energy to go on said date. Honestly, that’s a lot of work, stress, and money.
But just because going out is difficult does not mean date night should stop. Talk with your significant other and find out what makes a great date for them. Then incorporate “date” elements into a night at home.
On our date nights, we put the baby to bed. Then we have a good diner on the good china in the dining room. We talk while we eat and then we play board games or build with Lego together. The biggest rule for us is no TV. We have to be doing something active together. We aim for a date every other week, though I wish we had the energy to do it weekly.
There is no reason you can’t have a romantic evening in as a date. Just make “date night” different from the regular routine.
Tip #2: Tell your partner you are thinking of them
You can’t have a date every day, but you can let your partner know you are thinking of them multiple times a day. Send a text, leave a note in their bag, write a note on the bathroom mirror, do something kind for them, or send a selfie. Every little thing you do to let them know you thought of them will help keep the romance alive.
Every day he is at work, at a random time throughout the day, my husband will text me a simple “I love you” or “thinking of you”. I will often text him something cute the baby did, or how we enjoyed our daily walk. Sometimes, I will pack his favorite candy or a small love note with lunch. Sometimes he will get me fresh cut flowers from the garden.
These little things show that you still care for and love your partner. They are important. Do not let them lapse.
Tip #3: Do the little things
Think back to when you were dating. Back to when all your firsts happened. First date, first sleepover, moving in together, etc.. What are the things you used to do for each other? The small things that said you were glad the other person was there?
My dad would always sneak a piece of chocolate in my mom’s lunch. I usually wash my husband’s glasses and he will clean the kitchen (or house) when I start to get run-down as a surprise while I’m sleeping. And occasionally, fresh cut flowers will appear in the house.
Whatever those little things are in your partnership, make sure to keep doing them. It helps keep the romance alive.
Tip #4: Kiss
It is so easy to go weeks without kissing your partner. You get busy taking care of things and then one day you realize you haven’t kissed your partner in forever.
Build kissing into your routine. Every time one of you leaves the house, kiss. Any time one of you goes to bed, kiss. When you pass each other in the kitchen while cooking, kiss.
It doesn’t matter when, just make sure you make the effort to give your significant other a few kisses a day.
Tip #5: Say “I Love You”
Nothing keeps the romance alive more than actually saying the words “I love you.” Feelings cannot just be implied, they need to be said. So if you are proud of your partner, say so. If you are happy to see them, tell them. And be sure to say “I love you” at least once a day.
And from me to you: happy valentines day.
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Jane
Jane Reid, the primary author of Unprepared Mom and STEM 911, is an educator, tutor, women’s rights advocate, and mom. Here to make your life easier one article at a time.