Where should my baby sleep?

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I did what every new mom does: I scoured the internet looking for what I needed in my nursery. 

I must have looked at a thousand nursery walkthroughs, read a million listicles on nursery “must-haves” and listened to tons of vloggers detail their regret purchases. 

Know what I learned?  None of that is helpful.

Most of the nursery posts are either designed to sell you something or they are people detailing what worked for them… which generally isn’t helpful when trying to decide what you want to invest in.

This post is going to be a little different.  I am not an amazon associate trying to sell you something, and I’m not going to advise you based only on what worked for me.  I’m going to give you a list to help you decide what you want based on your lifestyle.  

If you don’t know what you want, that’s good too.  I have included the cheapest way to figure out what you actually need for your baby.

My goal is for you to only invest money in pieces that will serve you and your family.  

Let’s get started with… 

A place to sleep

Safe sleep is the number one thing on most new parent’s minds.  SIDS is a real concern and you want to minimize your risk as much as possible.  Always put your newborn to sleep on their back in an empty space where they can’t accidentally be suffocated by a blanket, stuffed animal, or you.  

It is possible to co-sleep safely, but we will get to that in a moment.

When people think of a place to put their child down to sleep, they tend to think of a crib or bassinet.  Those are great options so let’s start there.

Crib

This is the most traditional way for a baby to sleep.  In our consumerist society, the humble crib has gotten some serious upgrades.  Now you can buy a “bed for life” that starts as a crib and then transitions to a toddler bed before becoming a full-sized bed.

I highly recommend against these monstrosities.  They are often incredibly expensive, lower quality pieces of furniture that tend not to fit in smaller bedrooms. 

Let’s talk reality here, do you want your 5-year-old to have a full-sized bed or space in their room to play?  Personally, I lean towards play; especially since most teenagers wind up in a twin-sized bed when they leave home. 

I would never advise you to spend $800+ on something your child will use for at most 3 years.  Especially when there are options for $100.

If you are intent on getting a crib, go for IKEA.  You can get a solid wood crib, mattress, and bedding for around $100 total.  The crib is of good quality and will last through any children you might have. 

Crib Pros:

• Safe spot to put the baby down
• Transitions to toddler bed
• The smaller mattress is easier to change sheets on in the middle of the night
• The height adjustment brings the baby to you so you don’t need to bend down far

Crib Cons:

• Not a co-sleeping solution (if that is what you are looking for)
• Short shelf life (only used for a few years)
• It is a larger piece of furniture that may be difficult to store or fit in small spaces
• There will be transitions as you lower the bed and move to a toddler bed leading to sleep regressions

Choose a crib if you intend for your child to sleep on their own, you need a safe spot to put your child down at night because you are unable to babyproof, or you dig that aesthetic. 

Bassinet/ Moses Basket

These cute, portable little beds can be found on baby registries everywhere.  They range from around $100 to upwards of $1000 for more advanced models that monitor the baby as well.

Many people don’t use their bassinet.  Babies often outgrow them before they can be used, and those that don’t wind up using cheaper even more portable options instead. 

But those that do wind up using their bassinets swear by them.  Here’s why: bassinets work really well for co sleeping or sleeping in the room with mom and dad.  They also let the baby sleep wherever you happen to be at the moment, which can be indispensable if you have a baby that won’t sleep unless you are physically in the room.

SOme bassinets will also rock the baby which can be useful if the baby won’t sleep unless rocked.  DO NOT GET THESE UNLESS YOU HAVE TO.  I promise the transition to a non-rocking bed will be hell.  These beds were made specifically for babies unable to sleep unless they are being rocked.  These babies will grow out of that need, a baby who doesn’t need it will become attached to the motion and come to expect it.

So do I recommend you buy a bassinet?  No… at least not for your first.

Get a baby box instead.  They are free and the same size as a bassinet.  Use the baby box for the first few weeks to see if you actually need a bassinet.  If you do, buy one then.  A bassinet should be a purchase that happens when you need it.  Especially since you can get an IKEA crib for the same amount of money.

Bassinet Pros:

• Great for co-sleeping
• Easy to carry around the house for babies that don’t sleep without mom/ dad
• Some have advanced features that can be helpful for cholicy babies

Bassinet Cons:

• Small so they can only be used for a few months
• Expensive

I recommend you wait to get one of these until you know you need it.

Co-sleeper

There are 2 types of cosleeping beds. 

The first are cribs that are missing a side.  They attach straight to your bed and have a little lip to prevent the baby from rolling into your bed.  The second are little bassinet type beds designed to go on the bed in between mom and dad so the baby can sleep between you.

You can sleep safely with either set up.  The real question is should either be on your registry?

I’m going to lean toward no. 

I had lofty ideas about co-sleeping.  I intended to co-sleep with my baby until she was almost a year and then transition her to a twin bed.  It did not work out that way at all.

I was too light a sleeper.  Anytime she rolled over, twitched, sighed, changed breathing patterns, or made a noise, I was up like a shot trying to see if she was okay.  Spoiler alert: she was.

Babies sleep loudly.  They make all kinds of noise and it kept me up all night.  Cosleeping meant I was not sleeping.  And guess what?  You need sleep mama!

Here’s the truth: you do not know what sleeping configuration will work for your family until the baby is about 2 weeks old.  Co-sleepers are expensive, so I would not recommend spending the money to get one until you know cosleeping is going to work for you.  Just like I don’t recommend spending a lot of money on a crib before you know that is what is going to work for you.

Try it out first.  Use a baby box, moses basket, or other cheaper option to try cosleeping out.  If it doesn’t work, that’s fine.  If it does, invest in something you will use for a few years that is high enough quality to last for the number of kids you are planning.

Co-sleeper Pros:

• Cosleeping done properly is actually better for babies than sleeping on their own.  So, yay!
• Don’t worry about suffocation, SIDS, or other issues that having a newborn in bed can cause

Co-sleeper Cons:

• Expensive
• May not work for you
• Many co-sleepers are small and will be outgrown in a year or so

Pack-n-play

At about half the size of a crib, these timey safe spots for your baby can fit just about anywhere.  Many families have a pack-n-play as a second place to put the baby down in the main living space.  They are fantastic for this, but can also be used for sleep.

If you live in a tiny one-room apartment, this may be just what you are looking for.  To use a pack-n-play for all-night sleep, make sure to pick up a mattress for the bottom and get some sheets to fit.  

Many pack-n-plays come with all kinds of attachments like a bassinet and changing station.  I would recommend against getting something with too many bells and whistles on it unless you are in really tight quarters.  Most of those extras are only useful for a couple of months until the child outgrows it. 

Pack-n-Play Pros:

• Small and lightweight
• travels well and gives baby a safe, consistent place to sleep if you travel a lot
• A great secondary place for baby to play and nap even if you already have another place for baby to sleep

Pack-n-Play Cons:

• If the child is left in a play pen for too much time in the day, it can delay walking and rolling
• Can only safely be used as a bed or space for the baby until they learn to climb out of it.  
• Easily stored in between children

Should you get one?  Maybe.  If you live in a space that cannot be child-proofed, or you are looking for something small for the living room, pick one up.  But if you have a small apartment and are considering co-sleeping, hold off until you know what works for you.

Montessori Floor Bed

THe montessori floor bed is a newcomer to the sleep scene, but it is definitely worth considering.

This is literally a twin mattress on the floor, and while that sounds bad it is actually fantastic.

Since the baby is already in a twin bed, they will not outgrow it.  They can have that mattress for the next 10 years.  That also means there will be no transitions, which means fewer sleep regressions for you to deal with. 

Having them in a twin bed also means you can join the baby in bed whenever you need to. You could lie with them while they fall asleep, or sleep with them when they are a little older and have a fever. 

You also aren’t buying a bunch of equipment you will only use for a year or two, making this a solid investment. 

I always recommend having a twin bed in every nursery.  You need a place to cuddle the baby in a bed away from your partner so they can sleep.  It won’t get used it every night, but that first ear infection will come and you will be forever thankful that the twin bed was there.

Buy a twin bed for your nursery even if you decide to use a crib or something else.  Go ahead and put that on your registry.  If you want to use it as the baby’s main sleeping space, go for it.  I highly recommend it.

Floor Bed Pros:

•  No transitions means more sleep for you
• In bed cuddles for distraught babies
• the larger bed without boundaries encourages movement and may result in earlier rolling and crawling
• Most cost effective option

Floor Bed Cons:

• You are putting the baby near the floor, so if you had a difficult pregnancy or a c-section this may be really hard
• Larger bed is a little more difficult to change the sheets on in the middle of the night
• Baby can escape the bed so the room must be baby-proofed
• Baby can fall out of bed.  This can be fixed with a couple of pool noodles once they start to roll. 

If you are going to go the route of a Montessori floor bed, I would recommend getting a baby box or bassinet for the first few months after the baby is born.  This gives you the opportunity to heal before you need to put the baby down near the floor.  Be sure to transition to the floor bed as soon as you can to reduce the risk of a sleep regression.

What I recommend

Every nursery should have a twin bed for you to sleep in and for the child to grow into.  If you are a first-time parent, you should get a baby box and use it to figure out what pieces you need to invest in for the future.

Once you know how your family sleeps for your first child, the rest will follow the same pattern because that is what has worked for your family. 

No matter where your child sleeps, get 3 or 4 fitted sheets and 3 or 4 waterproof mattress protectors and layer them over the mattress.  That way if your kiddo spits up or has a diaper blow out in the middle of the night, you can just yank the sheets off and everyone can go back to bed.

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